How are you? No really, I wanna know…

How are you?

(Hint: “fine” is not the answer)

“Fine” is the rote, polite answer we say to someone who is asks “how are you” as a greeting and we don’t want to burden them with a real answer.

I want to know the real answer.

Because I know how unfine I am, and I know everyone is struggling these days in some way-shape-form.

Let’s talk about it.

With our friends, family, coworkers, therapists, whatever form our support system comes in.

Community care is the only way through this shit.

And as Adam Grant so poignantly reminds us, our workplaces are a community (not a family, but that’s another post.)

Because I am a workplace of one, you are part of my community.

There is so much going on all around us, on the outside & the inside of our lives, that it can feel hard.

And it is.

Feelings that are deemed negative can be uncomfortable for us to have & share and uncomfortable for us to hear about from others.

We can’t look away from the humanity of others and within ourselves.

We can develop humane and nourishing cultures by providing resources, having conversations, and creating a support system within our organizations that make it safe and accessible to get help.

Because when we struggle it’s not always easy to ask for help.

So how can we help our teams?

A great first step is to get vulnerable ourselves.

Hot tip: We can still be vulnerable (not gossipy) and maintain a level of privacy.

Reminder: Vulnerability is a strength.

We can recognize that feelings are part of being human, and that doesn’t stop when our workdays begin.

When we have these conversations and model vulnerability for our teams, it makes us stronger.

If there is resistance in your brain right now that says “but if we are talking about feelings all day, when will the work be getting done?” I get it.

That’s our effed up conditioning repeating the messages that tell us work is the most important thing.

It’s not.

We can create environments where it is safe to share our humanity AND move collectively towards a shared purpose.

Feelings don’t make us bad, weak, helpless, or incapable of doing our jobs- they make us human.

We are not robots.

We can’t expect that from our teams OR ourselves.

Part of creating our mini worlds of disruption (aka work culture) is to unlearn these expectations of how we should be behaving at work. Welcoming our humanity in the workplace is part of that disruption.

What can you do today?

Ask your team: